A Classic with a Queer Secret
On the surface, Foxtrot, the legendary 1977 musical by Annie M.G. Schmidt and Harry Bannink, is a dazzling spectacle of 1930s Amsterdam. It’s a world of glittering revue shows on Rembrandtplein, dancing on the edge of a volcano as the threat of war looms. But beneath the sequins and catchy tunes lies a story that was remarkably ahead of its time—a story with a queer heart that continues to resonate deeply within our community.
This new stage adaptation is more than just a revival; it's a chance to celebrate a piece of Dutch theatre that dared to put a gay man’s emotional turmoil center stage, long before it was commonplace.
Love in the Shadows of the 1930s
The plot revolves around a complex love triangle. When the young, naive Josien (played by Teuntje Post) arrives in the big city, she falls for her charismatic mentor, Jules (William Spaaij), a star in a local nightclub. But Jules's heart belongs to someone else: his secret lover, Paul. Trapped by the rigid social expectations of the era, Jules cannot reciprocate Josien's feelings or live his own love openly. This impossible situation culminates in a moment of confusion and desperation that leads to an unwanted pregnancy, forcing everyone to confront choices with no easy answers.
The musical doesn't just hint at Jules's sexuality; it makes his internal conflict the emotional core of the story. It explores the pain, isolation, and societal pressure faced by gay men in a time when their love was not only taboo but invisible.
The Anthem: 'Sorry dat ik besta'
Nowhere is this conflict more powerfully expressed than in the iconic song, 'Sorry dat ik besta' ('Sorry That I Exist'). Sung by Jules, the song is a masterpiece of sarcasm, defiance, and heartbreaking sincerity. It's a bitter apology to a world that refuses to accept him as he is. For decades, this song has been an anthem for many in the Dutch LGBTQ+ community who have felt the sting of being different.
The song's raw emotion is perfectly captured in this classic performance by Willem Nijholt, the original Jules:
Sorry that I exist
All those hunderd-thousand songs
That you can hear every day
Songs and hits and melodies
They are never meant for us
Every evergreen, every tune
Always boy, always girl
I love you and 'ik hou van jou'
Always man and always woman
Every verse and every aria:
Romeo and JuliaThat's the way it is, my boy
No song has ever been sung
About the forbidden kiss
By Romeo and Julius
We're not ready for that yet -
It's taboo, taboo -
No aria's, never aria's
For the pariahs.Just wipe us out
Throw us away
We are the spot on the clean tablecloth
Of the tidy eroticism
For us no background music
But the silence and the shadow
Of a porchThere are songs all around us
So regular and so common
Like confection from C&A
Always Romeo, always Julia
That's what love is meant to be
Romeo and Julia
En this is what you think and feel:
Sorry for existingNever in the sunlight,
Never during daytime,
Never at a party with touched parents.
No paper streamers, no decorated tent,
No tears and no sentiment,
For us no longing violins
At the happy end.There must be a song somewhere,
If only just the refrain,
If only just five lines,
About Romeo and JuliusBut we're not ready for that yet -
It's taboo, taboo -
No aria's, never aria's
For the pariahs.But maybe in forty years, who knows,
There'll be songs in the hitparade
Not only about he and she
But also about he and he
Songs about him and him
Without hesitation or doubt
Then every romanticist will sing
That's the way it is
Romeo and Julius
A Timeless Story for a New Generation
This new production, directed by Joep Onderdelinden, brings together a stellar cast to breathe new life into this classic. With William Spaaij stepping into the complex role of Jules, previously played by legends like Willem Nijholt and Paul de Leeuw, a new generation has the opportunity to experience the glamour, the wit, and the profound queer tragedy of Foxtrot. In a world still fighting for acceptance, the story of Jules and Paul, and the defiant sorrow of 'Sorry dat ik besta', feels as relevant as ever.
