THEME OF THIS EVENING: NRE Realms
Yes, you’ve met someone new. Have you been reached by a “heady rush of escalating emotional connection and hot juiciness?” Coined by Zhahai Stewart in the 1980s, ‘new relationship energy’ has seeped into love society and the world of ethical non-monogamy. You’ve heard it coming for your friend with a new crush every catch-up, but it may come for you, too. That stranger turned object of desire, appearing only in a cloud of pink, and every other thought? As it leaves you feeling unsteady without your next hit, this new player may leave your existing partner(s) feeling a certain way, too.
Sweet, sugary, and disruptive - such can be the nature of NRE. Feel-good hormones make every interaction rewarding. A six-month attachment phase begins. Behaviour may mirror that of this idealised person. Repeated urges to be close to them may overshadow longstanding connections with others. They may recognise this change in you from before, but don’t experience it first-hand. Compersion (happiness for you) turns sour as dates become deprioritised.
Is it all bad? No. In this edition of Poly Stories, we’ll find out how to make sure there’s enough romance to go around for all people involved, how to redirect commitment impulses to sustainable intentionality - whilst maintaining freedom to explore newness, and how to stay centered in your own identity when others’ modes of being are so exciting.
Allow for play and master your way around NRE. Riding the wave, with skill, may just be the ENM foundation you didn’t know you needed.
This evening is for anyone: whether you’re just starting out or already experienced in non-monogamy/open relationships/polyamory.
Poly Stories invites you in the exploration of the wondrous world of non-monogamy through personal storytelling: together navigating the edges and unpacking (moral) dilemmas. This evening is for everyone with a curiosity in the free shapes of love.
Each evening revolves around a central theme. We co-create the night together. There is space to talk to others, ask questions and bring in your own experiences.
Would you like to share a story this evening or one of the upcoming ones? Send an email to suzanne@suzanneallegonda.nl
Suzanne Allegonda is a relationship therapist specialized in non-monogamy. She has always been fascinated by human thinking and behavior. In her private practice she focuses on working with individuals and couples in ENM relationships. Over the past years, she has organized various lectures and workshops where philosophy, self-reflection and love and intimacy meet.
English