The book, fully titled No Fats, No Fems: A Guide to Queer Empathy and Unpacking Prejudice, is scheduled for release in May 2026. It aims to serve as a modern guide for understanding the internal divisions that can exist in queer spaces, particularly online, and offers a framework for building a more cohesive and empathetic community.
The title directly references exclusionary statements commonly found on the profiles of dating apps like Grindr, which are widely used in the Netherlands and globally. These phrases, often dismissed as mere 'preferences,' are part of a larger pattern of discrimination within the community that targets individuals based on body type, race, and gender expression.
Unpacking Internal Biases
According to its publisher, HarperOne, the book will combine personal testimonies from a diverse range of LGBTQIA+ individuals with the latest research to explore these complex issues. Hovey, who has built a significant online following by challenging stereotypes, will guide readers through a number of critical topics, including:
- The roles of race, class, and identity in creating prejudice.
- Internalized homophobia and how it contributes to division.
- Body image issues and the pursuit of sexual liberation.
- The importance of intersectionality in the fight for LGBTQIA+ rights.
- Practical ways to promote acceptance and handle rejection.
The book is described as an "urgent call to action" that provides tools for self-reflection and a roadmap toward a stronger community. By addressing these uncomfortable truths, Hovey's work intends to move the conversation beyond personal preference and toward a deeper understanding of systemic biases that have been absorbed and replicated within the queer world.
A Guide to Empathy
While the book's title points to issues most prominent in spaces for gay men, its scope is intended to be broader, touching on dynamics that affect the entire LGBTQIA+ spectrum. The ultimate goal, as stated in the book's description, is to cultivate empathy as the final destination, regardless of one's background or sexual orientation.
No Fats, No Fems is positioned as a contemporary successor to foundational texts like The Velvet Rage, updated to address the specific challenges of community-building in the digital age.
